And so it is... just what i thought it would be...

Nothin's goin to change my world. Nothing is going to change my world.. except me. So today marks the day that I continue to put myself first and remind myself that no one deserves to be ahead of me. This is how it has been and will be for quite some time. There is no reason that it should be any different. For whatever reason I allow that to happen inermittantly and then I wonder why I can't find my groundin. Now I've found my grounding again, I think i'll be ok. All of this just gets pretty old and then I realize that I did it again. I should really just keep all of this in mind when I am attempting to move forward with my life. Don't jus tleave me hanging on. Back up back up... take another chance. Don't just leave me hangin on. I'll be better off .. better off.. without you boy. I shouldn't have to think that song.. ever. I already know I made the right decision for myself so I am free again. Which is where I need to be. Life.. is what I make of it. So I'm going to make the masterpiece I have been dreamin of all this time. I've met a few men.. left a few men... had some want to hang on.. let go while they held on.. and here I am again.. with myself. I am my own best friend. No one else can be what I am to myself.. so I better start treating myself how I'd want to be treate.d Without that, there's nothing. This isn't too hard to figure out. However, I seem to forget this every now and then. I'm old enough now that I don't really need that reminder anymore. This is a very good thing. I know this... and I come back to knowin it.. again and again. Showing myself the ultimate respect is the only way anyone else will follow through with my desires. This is the truth. So, I need to just continue to do that. I'm good at it. I'm only as good as I allow myself to be. The things I want to do now are.. get back to doing my yoga... play my piano, take a yoga class, take a dance class, start going to the gym again, rollerblade outside, bike outside, take pictures around town. Do things that help me be me. What I have been doing isn't it. Remember that.